I just finished re-reading Essay on Love by Alain de Botton and like always I want to kick myself in the face for reading another failed love story. Do I really need to have more fodder for the angst feeling I have for romance and love? But it is a beautiful novel about falling in and out of love. I recommend that anyone who wants an interesting book which is written in an interesting and new way to pick up a copy.

Spring always makes me think about love and companionship, but this might be just a reaction of my hormones going into overdrive....primal instinct overdrive to mate and procreate like my animal counterparts. This is where I admit my deep dark secret of .....*drumroll* I have signed up for internet dating. Ok please don't judge. I figure that I might as well give it a go. Since meeting people is not working out for me. I shall lull the men of the internet into a false sense of security and than BAM. Kidding! I promise. I am not quite sure why I am single since my friends and family assure I am not repulsive in the personality or physical sense.

I do wonder though the complete switch the men in my life undergo while knowing me. First, it begins in a way that leads me to believe that is not romantic and then POOF! Either I am boring or just not *Beep*-ble?

I would like to share with the few who read this blog a snippet of a conversation:

Man: so its not romantic.. but it is in a way, by itself
there's nothing we can do.. by its existance.. it is romantic

Can I say I still am not sure what that means? But since I am an unable to express my feelings I just let these things drop. So the point is I am not impressed with single life and I am tired of seeing everyone close around me in healthy and happy relationships. I mean...when I throw a dinner party for example, I AM the third wheel.

(ok this was not a pity party, I promise...it's all because of this song: I Can Just See Us Now

This will be short and sweet...
Last night I had the privilege to go see Henry Rollins. It was incredible...and such a nice man. A nice break from schooling!

Where is my political identity?

I've decided to take my studying to the nearby Starbucks instead of Cafe Myriade for a little while. As much as I love Myriade it's always packed and I feel bad staying there for 3hrs+. While here at the fast-food of coffee I can keep drinking tea for a lot less and I feel no remorse. So I have been doing my Marx reading for my class tomorrow and I am totally captivating by The Manifesto of Communist Party, especially part II "Proletarians and Communists". By no means am I a Marxist or Communist but I do see the merit in some of these ideas.
I've had a small epiphany of sorts tonight....more like crisis. Where do I stand in the political spectrum of ideas? It's quite a shock to realize that for about ten years now ( 13yrs old is where I became an adult in my religious community, so this is where I feel I began to develop my own personality...) I am one of those politically apathetic people. I don't think it's because I hate my government or politics in general but more that I am not sure what political identity I call my own. I wonder if this is just a Canadian thing....a North American thing. I think it's definitely a Canadian problem.

The 4 parties currently represented in the House of Commons:
Bloc Quebecois
Conservative Party of Canada
Liberal Party of Canada
New Democratic Party

Take a look at all these other parties past and present

Who am I in this political world? What am I? These questions give rise to all sorts of other questions.


I leave you with a little quote from the Manifesto of the Commnist Party:
"The bourgeois sees in his wife a mere instrument of production. He hears that the instruments of production are to be exploited in common, and, naturally, can come to no other conclusion than that the lot of being in common to all will likewise fall to the women....The Communists have no need to introduce community of women; it has existed almost from time immemorial." (Marx)