Here's what I have to say.

http://falsepalindrome.tumblr.com/

I like my tumblr. I like the layout.

Exams are done, finally. Just one more outstanding paper and then freedom. So I am gearing up for my weekend in Vermont this weekend. I am definitely squirming in excitement, how could I not be? A roster of great bands and my two best buds on a little mini road-trip. Hell yeah. So I'm sitting here enjoying my traditional end of term coke in a glass bottle and listening to some Queen ( yeah I'm just that cool) and I can't help but be excited for the summer. In the last couple of days I have painted one large paint square in each of the rooms of my apartment...and holy moly I just can't wait!

Kitchen- Castleton Mist with Windham cream
Bathroom- Woodlawn Blue with probably Windham cream baseboards
Hallway- Hawthorne Yellow with the darkwood stain baseboards
Living room- Jumel peachtone w/ windham cream ceiling
My bedroom-undecided
Other bedroom- probably windham cream

Yes, the next Martha Stewart...shut it. It's not my fault that the historical colour collection at Benjamin Moore is awesome.

In other news...quick OKC update:
HYMS- found himself a lady, good for him!
CC- Making plans for May
BLP- I think I am being ignored. I thought I'd meet the fella for a coffee while I was in VT. But there is silence on the air waves. I am left with a perplexed look on my face.

Time to get a cleaning...Perhaps blaring "I want to break free"...playing air guitar on the broom.

I'm really tired tonight. I just finished watching Annie Hall, the Woody Allen film and I feel as neurotic as those characters just through osmosis. But I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised by the movie since I tend to have luke warm feelings about W.A films.

I miss my creative writing classes a lot. I just discovered a box full of short stories and poems in the basement at my parent's place. I distinctly remember writing this poem, frustrated with the assignment.

I am all sorts of random this evening. I need a good long vacation.

Fell down screaming into the sky
With every fiber of her being she tore
The rain from the sky.
The mountains crumbled
The Sea, swirling as if the drain plug

Had been

P

U

L L

E D

The banshee cries vibrated her throat into pieces
Yet she continued, non-plussed
While the world ripped itself apart

She H O W L E D
There was no longer noise in the vacuum she created

Her chest heeeeaved with the force of her self-loathing
Her Chhhesssssstt expanded in sequence
With the erratic mutterings heard in her mind
A ritual call fills the abyss, the dark
The rain falls again mingling with the dried earth
The basin fills with the sea where it all began
Rises. Rises. RISES.
The rocks shudder and shake

They grooooooan back into their splendor
Slowly, oh so slowly the world re-knits

Its BRO KEN h AlveS
She leaped. She stepped. She fell.

Off the edge
Into the tumbling, careening PAINful darkness
Just to know she could still feel.
(11.28.06)

I haven't been this distracted by my thoughts in a long while. This of course happens whenever I'm trying to write a 15 page paper on the conception of the sublime. I have tried everything to keep my mind focused, turned off the punk rock and put on some soul and then turned off the soul for some prog-rock...nothing is working. My mind enjoys going into shut down mode during the last week of semester when everything is due and I should be at my most focused.

my new least favorite question: "How is a sexy girl like you single?" or any variant of it.



Back to the writing.

This is just silly.

So I have been slowly 'cruising' the internet dating and so far it's ridiculously terrifying. Ok hold your horses there, no one has stalked me or tried to get in my pants...that I have noticed. So update numero uno:

HYMS: Interesting, handsome and funny. What started as something interesting and flirty is beginning to feel forced. As in, it feels like I am forcing my attentions on this guy. We have yet to meet, so we'll see how that goes. If anything he seems like a decent fella.

CC: A nice francophone, who is "impatient to meet" me. I look forward to meeting him when school is a little less hectic. WE haven't talked much, but the times we have there are quite a few common interests.

BLP: Very interesting and nice guy. No idea where that's heading.

Men of the real world:

JMS: I think we're just friends. Seems like I might have missed the boat on that one. I should have taken my dad's advice on this one...
Dad:Ina why is it so hard for you to say how you feel?
Ina: I dunno. I guess I'm not sure
Dad: Say this, "You are a handsome man JMS, I like you. What do you think?" If he doesn't, no biggie Ina. He's still your friend"
my father the philosopher and comedian.


So I'm wondering if maybe someone could invent an "anti-shy" pill, I'd pop one everytime I hung out or spoke to one of these fellas. Also it's come to my attention through A. that I am not really dating I'm just dancing around the idea.

yeesh...


oh...on a date-less note, I am pondering some culinary work for the summer. I am being courted by a few establishments at the moments for some apprentice work. Let's hope it pans out...

Montreal has been all a flutter with the beautiful weather that is a little bit like the weather we have in July...HOT and SUNNY. It's been so beautiful which has made it unbelievably difficult to focus on my final paper for my CIV class....which is due Tuesday, yikes! That's okay I will sequester myself in the library for the next two days and finish it...hopefully!

My windows are open and the breeze is absolutely lovely. I am beginning to feel much better since the major thaw and increase in sun. I am looking forward to my summer living downtown which hopefully will be filled with late night walks and mini adventures. Who knows perhaps a little bit of romance?

I really need to do some spring cleaning...transferring my winter clothes for spring and summer clothes. My room looks like a tornado has hit ....but that's a normal occurrence during the last weeks before finals...






Listening:
Andrew Bird-Armchair Apocrypha
Reading:
Edmund Burke- "A Philosophical Enquiry into the Origin of Our Ideas of the Sublime and Beautiful"

I just finished re-reading Essay on Love by Alain de Botton and like always I want to kick myself in the face for reading another failed love story. Do I really need to have more fodder for the angst feeling I have for romance and love? But it is a beautiful novel about falling in and out of love. I recommend that anyone who wants an interesting book which is written in an interesting and new way to pick up a copy.

Spring always makes me think about love and companionship, but this might be just a reaction of my hormones going into overdrive....primal instinct overdrive to mate and procreate like my animal counterparts. This is where I admit my deep dark secret of .....*drumroll* I have signed up for internet dating. Ok please don't judge. I figure that I might as well give it a go. Since meeting people is not working out for me. I shall lull the men of the internet into a false sense of security and than BAM. Kidding! I promise. I am not quite sure why I am single since my friends and family assure I am not repulsive in the personality or physical sense.

I do wonder though the complete switch the men in my life undergo while knowing me. First, it begins in a way that leads me to believe that is not romantic and then POOF! Either I am boring or just not *Beep*-ble?

I would like to share with the few who read this blog a snippet of a conversation:

Man: so its not romantic.. but it is in a way, by itself
there's nothing we can do.. by its existance.. it is romantic

Can I say I still am not sure what that means? But since I am an unable to express my feelings I just let these things drop. So the point is I am not impressed with single life and I am tired of seeing everyone close around me in healthy and happy relationships. I mean...when I throw a dinner party for example, I AM the third wheel.

(ok this was not a pity party, I promise...it's all because of this song: I Can Just See Us Now